Alaska

I just got back from a fabulous trip up north, y'all! Lots of people go to Alaska in the summer; it's quite the tourist destination. I didn't realize that but of course there are tons of things to do and the sun never goes down. Me? I went to a junkyard to look at sewer pumps. No lie, look at them! Man, could Shane build some ass kicking stinky robots out of that stuff! Can't you just see them marching ominously through town like vicious zombies, obliterating everything in their path? AWESOME. My job is the BEST! I bet none of you have ever gotten paid to go check out zombie robot sewer pumps, and you are all very jealous of me now, am I right?

It was a whirlwind trip: I flew to Anchorage, flew to Fairbanks, drove through the tundra to the junkyard, then back to Fairbanks, back to Anchorage and home in less than three days. It was absolutely beautiful; look how blue the sky is! I know, the picture sucks, but the color is true. I took it with my phone, and as I may have mentioned, I'm not too clever with that stuff. I'm lucky I ended up with a picture that I sort of intended to take, instead of sending stalker texts to Justin Bieber or signing up for a blood sugar monitoring app or something useless like that.

I had packed for bone-chilling cold and it was sunny and 65 degrees, so I was a little toasty in my black turtleneck. Unfortunately, the sweater must have been last washed before Lloyd fixed the washer, because it reeked like feet. All the sweat from my broiling hot wool-clad neck didn't help, either. Good thing we were in a junkyard looking at ratty old sewer parts, because that way I could blame the stench on something else. It worked fine until we were on the way home, and then it didn't matter because no one would sit next to me anyway. So that worked out well.

The junkyard is in a town called Nenana, outside Fairbanks. It's a cute little town, but it's MILES from anywhere (except for maybe Skinny Dick's Halfway Inn). The place is pretty dinky but well known in certain circles (like the Arctic Circle, yuk, yuk) for the Nenana Ice Classic, which is a contest to predict the date and time the ice breaks up on the Tanana River. That's some high quality entertainment right there, people. They get up a big fat pot of money, too. Funny, though, none of the winners live there anymore. And that's all I have to say about that.

I had dinner one night with my friend Susannah, which was by far the best part of the trip- even better than the zombie robots. I don't want to spill too many secrets about our shared questionable past, but I have always deeply admired and appreciated her brilliant ideas and enthusiasm in bringing them to fruition. Most of all, I am grateful for her continued tight-lipped discretion. And that is DEFINITELY all I have to say about that. Have a good weekend!