You know how I've been all dull and uninspired because my life is a living hell lately? Well, no more, my friends! I have found my muse, and it is.... ugly diapers! You guys have all seen those ridiculous disposable diapers that are supposed to look like daisy dukes, right? I was at a birthday party yesterday and got to talking about them with some brilliant friends, and we thought, why stop there? Where are the khakis? The floral capris? I know what you're thinking: JUST USE CLOTH DIAPERS, MORONS! But the sad truth is that clothies aren't for everyone. At least until all those nasty chemicals they put in disposables melt the machinery in the factories, but that will probably take YEARS.
So in the meantime, I present to you the Dead Cat Line, DCL for short. The logo will be a line drawn silhouette of a smushed cat; I'm still working the bugs out. Disposable diaper-included fashions for babies and toddlers for all occasions! Wedding finery, loungewear, athletic apparel, you name it! DCL will have it all.
And DCL is not just for babies! I've noticed a few other fashion needs around here. For just one example, we have a lot of people from India and Pakistan here and I often see large and elaborate turbans on men. The other day, I saw a turbaned guy on a bike, without a helmet and I thought, someone should make a bike helmet that looks like a turban! Well, turbaned biker, you no longer have to sacrifice safety for cultural expression; DCL is here to help you out!
The possibilities are endless! Know how when you're gigantically pregnant and you're dying for a drink but you can't have one because everyone will glare at you like you're viciously beating an adorable kitten in the street? How about a maternity dress with a discreet chest pocket with a sturdy waterproff pouch and straw system for your beer, wine, diet coke or red bull? DCL can even custom make a thermal pocket so you can drink coffee to your heart's content without suffering from society's disapproval! See what I mean? DCL is a surefire hit! Contact me at womanwithadeadcat@gmail.com to contribute your own ideas and/or start up capital! No amount too large or too small; contact me today!
5 comments:
The "straw in the bra" idea isn't entirely new. Back in the day there was this couple at Longacres, the bosomy partner of which would become noticeably deflated as the racing day progressed.
Not that I noticed, of course....um, a guy told me about it.
I have not seen the daisy duke diapers...no.
Have you seen the disposables that are supposed to look like jeans? They're hideous.
I LOVE YOU. I'm going to place an order for one beer, one diet coke and one coffee pregnancy thermos...
I'm tired of beating baby kittens.
Plus, it really upsets the kids.
Post a Comment