Me (attempting to explain the concept of mental illness): For example, someone might take off all their clothes and run down the middle of the street because they thought God told them to.
Weston: But, that's good, they are doing what they think is right.
Me: Well, I suppose you could look at it that way, but God wouldn't tell someone to do that, and running down the street naked is against the law.
Weston (totally shocked): WHAT?!?!?
Shane: I have a great idea! Let's put worm in that net!
Shane: Wouldn't it be funny if your name was Scotch Tape?
Shane: These are my favorite pajamas!
Me: Yes, those are nice.
Shane: Smell them! They smell like toast!
Shane: How would you destroy a mama?
Me: What?! Why are you asking me that? Who would want to do that?
Shane: I don't know. Could you use a knife?
Weston: Raise your hand and answer the question! Are dinosaurs made out of atoms, cells or rubber?
Weston: You didn't raise your hand.
Shane (raises hand): Rubber!
Weston: Shane, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Shane: A factory guy.
Weston: What kind of factory? A toy factory?
Shane: Toys, and candy and engines.
Weston: Grownups don't play with toys, you know.