Wednesday, September 28, 2011


I complain about Facebook a fair amount, like everyone else in the known universe, and with good reason. I don't like the recent changes; the ticker of forced sharing hacks me off pretty good. For all I know, it's keeping track of which profiles I'm stalking and teaching my computer to spy on the websites I visit and report back to it. It might even be watching what I'm writing right now and making a note of my address for the hit squad. You know you've thought about that; just admit it. I hear more major changes are on the way, too. I keep reading what a big freaking deal they are going to be, blah blah blah, boring geek talk, blah blah blah (not a direct quote).

I have been seriously considering defacebooking. I'm reluctant, because I am lucky enough to have friends all over the world, and it IS handy for keeping in touch with them. I guess I should wait and see how much I hate the upcoming revisions before I decide. I bet I despise them, though. Just a guess. Change is bad!

And what else is out there? I'm not sure about that Google thing; is there anything else? I'm not very clever that way, you know, with all the techie stuff. I don't even know how to put contacts in my work phone and the other day I accidentally sent a seriously questionable message to the wrong (VERY wrong) person. Oops. But who will be crying when the pulse destroys all the electronic equipment on the face of the earth? Not me, that's who! Oh, wait. Never mind. SOMEBODY HELP ME.

Anyway, in the meantime, I thought I would experiment to see if I could find a suitable alternative to satisfy my compulsion to share the most banal (that's for you, Leah!) details of my day:

Woman with a Dead Cat had better get out of bed; that coffee isn't going to drink itself!

Woman with a Dead Cat doesn't know if there's enough makeup to cover this thing.

Woman with a Dead Cat has to wear a wrinkled shirt to work

Woman with a Dead Cat needs to decide: vest or no vest?

Woman with a Dead Cat is so hungry! Donut or bacon? Better go with the protein, it's healthier.

Woman with a Dead Cat just spilled some coffee on her shirt.

Woman with a Dead Cat just dropped some bacon on her shirt.

Woman with a Dead Cat just dropped some jelly on her shirt.

Woman with a Dead Cat is definitely going to wear the vest.

Woman with a Dead Cat wishes her rude co-workers would stop laughing at her.

Well, that was easy enough. I do love getting the little red notifications and the comments, though. Plus, how will people know to come and read them if I don't tell them on Facebook? Hmmmm, I'm not sure if this is going to work for me. I might need to invent something. Or maybe I just need to build a thermonuclear device in my garage. For the pulse; that will solve all our problems! I'll keep you posted.